HUSBAND OF THE YEAR AWARDS (WOMEN VS MEN)

HUSBAND OF THE YEAR   Starting off the competition of the Husband of the year awards The honorable mention for: Ireland ...followed closely by The United States of America and then ................. Poland but 3rd Place must go to Greece it was very very close but the runner up prize was awarded to.... </ B> .............. Serbia But the winner of the husband-n-wife of the year ......is ......... ' Scotland ' Ya gotta love the Scottish. The Scottish are true romantics..look, he's even holding her hand. Woman has Man in it; Mrs. has Mr . in it; Female has Male in it; She has He in it; Madam has Adam in it; Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before: Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN? MENtal illness MENstrual cramps MENtal breakdown MENopause GUYnecologist AND .. When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy. Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day. Send this to all the men just to annoy them ..... Have a good laugh and a great day!

meri zat zara-e-by nishan

meri zat zara-e-by nishan
main wo kis tarha sey karun bayan

jo kiye gaye hain sitama yahan
sunay kon meri ye dastan

koi hum nasheen hay na raz daan
jo tha jhoot wo bana sach yahan

nhi kholi main ney magar zuban
ye akela pan ye udasiyan,

meri zindagi ki hain tarjuman
meri zat zara-e- by nishan

main bataon mujhe kia milay
 mujhe sabar hi ka sila milay

kis ghum ki dil main jaga milay
 jo mera hay wo aa milay

rahay shad yunhi mera jahan
k yaqeen main badlay mara guman

meri zat zara-e- by nishan
main wo kis tarha sey karun bayan

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020           Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Galaxy Kholi . May I have your..." Customer: "Hello, can I order.." Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?" Customer: "It's eh..., hold........ ..on..... .889861356102049 998-45-54610" Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 43rd Floor, Akask View Apt, Cantt Road, ........ Your home number is 4094! 2366, your office 76452302 and your mobile is 0142662566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?" Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers? Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir" Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..." Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir" Customer: "How come?" Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir" Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?" Operator : "Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it" Customer: "How do you know for sure?" Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir" Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?" Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is Rs 2249.99" Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?" Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs10,720.55 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir." Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives" Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today" Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?" Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your scooter.. ." Customer: " What!" Operator : "According to the details in system, you own a Lambretta 1969 Vintage Scooter,...registra tion number USE 8999..." Customer: " ????" Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?" Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?" Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic.... ... " Customer: ********** Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 11th Nov 1986 you were convicted for using abusive language on a policeman who stopped you for driving through a one way, in fact you were driving a 1973 Ambassador bearing registeration number UTD 4267....... Customer: [Faints]     . __,_._,___

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AMAZING

Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition held at the 02 Arena in London, England - PICTURES (58 Rare Photos)

 

Michael Jackson's costume "Victory" at the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

Costume Jackson "Remember The Time" on the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

A selection of Michael Jackson's gloves are seen seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

The painting "in the costume of the King" at the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

A view of exhibits from Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch are seen at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

A view of exhibits are seen at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

Shoes from Michael Jackson's scheduled 'This Is It' concerts are seen at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

Costumes from Michael Jackson's scheduled 'This Is It' concerts are seen at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London.

Michael Jackson posters from his scheduled 'This Is It' concerts are seen at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London.

 

Golden discs for the Jackson Five are seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

 

Costume Jackson "Heal the world" on the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

A view of exhibits at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

A view of exhibits at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

Jackson-owned Rolls-Royce Phantom at the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

American singer Michael Jackson, "The monumental gilded throne" on the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009. (UPI/Rune Hellestad)

A crown from Michael Jackson's Neverland ranch is seen at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

Costume Jackson "Smooth Criminal" on the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

An exhibit is seen seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

A view of exhibits at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

An exhibit is seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

A view of exhibits are seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

Onlookers view the 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England. 

A view of exhibits are seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson:The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

 

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson:The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

The famous white glove worn by Michael Jackson when he performed Billie Jean at the Grammy Awards in 1983 is seen on display at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England

Jackson Jacket "United We Stand" on the official exhibition of personal belongings Jackson in London O2 Arena on Oct. 26, 2009.

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

(UK TABLOID NEWSPAPERS OUT) A selection of memorabilia is displayed at 'Michael Jackson: The Official Exhibition' held at the 02 Arena on October 26, 2009 in London, England.

Funny Motorcycle (Smile Please)

 

تھوڑا سا مسکرا لیں

(Source: Saleem Ullah Shaikh)

Husband V/S Wife

Husband V/S Wife

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,

With Idiot For Ever


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper,

So I'd be in your hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,

So I could have a new one everyday.


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping
pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.

Husband: You should have known it the minute

I asked you to marry me.


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.

So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why Three?

Husband: For you and your parents


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

Wife: What will you give me if I climb the great Mount Everest ?

Husband: A lovely Push...!!!


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?

A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again


************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ******
*
********

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,

You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice